首页>>leaflotus>>leaflotus发出的优秀点评

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leaflotus发出的优秀点评

分类觉得应该更明确一些,比方对于年轻人来说,跟随名人的步伐也许更容易成功,而对于有社会历练的成年人,有不同的特性可能更容易成功。你这里感觉分离不明确,你说有时候一致会成功,有时候不一致会成功,但是没有说怎样的情况一致好,怎样的情况不一致好
发表于:2016-09-02 [查看题目与录音]
1、主要的问题是主题句不突出不明确,需要看到段落结尾才知道讲的是什么 2、第二个问题没有说明什么情况下要和别人一致,什么情况要不一致。导致主题不明确。 3、语法词汇没什么问题 4、扩展部分由于主题不明确导致论述也有点模糊。 Nowadays, the modern society attaches greater importance to pursuing success which means realizing self-fulfillment and making a contribution to the society through one’s own endeavor. As a consequence, a large quantity of books and lectures on success written and reported by well-known philosophers and successful people flooded the whole world. There is no doubt that it gave rise to a heated discussion as to whether we must resemble or differ from others for the purpose of success. Some people hold than we must be similar to others to achieving success, it depends on situations which we are confronted with.(第一段没有提出自己的观点) On the one hand, it stands to reason that the power of successful models is infinite and has already exerted a significant impact on us. (没有开头给出主题句)College education and society experience consciously or unconsciously tell us that we ought to learn from them for the sake of achievements. There is an old saying that “he that lies down with dogs must rise up with fleas”. If you keep company with someone who is ambitious and far-sighted every now and then, you’ll certainly be encouraged and determined to spare no efforts to succeed. A good beginning is half the battle, if you have no idea of what to do first before realizing your ambition, it is better to chase after someone. Via absorbing one’s essence and discarding one’s dross, you may avoid detours and shorten the time of trial and error, thus achieve more with less cost. Like the famous physicist Newton, he once said he saw further than others because he stood on the shoulder of giants. To conclude, following the steps of successful people is a good way to achieve success.主题句放最后了,领悟起来有点费劲 On the other hand, the criteria of success are not always the same. 还是没有在前面给主题句If everyone in a country is similar to each other, then the nation will stagnate and obtain little progress. The society now needs more comprehensive talents to meet the requirements of ever-increasing developing economy. Initiative and creative people stand out among those who keep imitating others blindly and gradually lose their own unique personalities and strengths. Just as the noted poet Li Bai said “All things in their being are good for something.” In order to distinguish yourself in a large crowd and be competitive to succeed, you’d better maintain your special characters and specialties. Take a job interview for example, five applicants all took a curriculum vitae with them to the interview. However, among the five people, four of them had the exactly same format of resume by referring to on-line templates. Only one of them deferred from others and made his own resume all by himself. Undoubtedly, the only one who is outstanding and prominent gain the best assessment and impression from the interviewers, thus successful acquire his ideal position. In conclusion, differentiating from others is sometimes beneficial for you to be successful. From above, we can make the safe conclusion that every coin has two sides and nothing is absolutely judged. It is the same with achieving success, differing or resembling others rely on what kind of situation we are in.(总结里提到situation,文章里并没有按照不同的situation讨论。)
发表于:2016-09-02 [查看题目与录音]
同学,我非常喜欢你的内容,感觉理由很充分,解释得很清楚。语调也很不错,有个别发音问题。下面语音解释
发表于:2016-08-31 [查看题目与录音]
1、觉得你的理由很充分,叙述结构也非常好。at the time换成at once更好。最后一个理由comfortable way好像和能从对方表情看到话题是否融洽关联性不好。 2、语调挺不错的,发音很清晰。efficient第二个音节i发成e了,weeks发的有点像wakes,最后一个词听不清楚,听着有点像homepage。
发表于:2016-08-22 [查看题目与录音]
1、所有的要点基本上都答到了,语言组织比较合理,第二条如果能提到insect就更好了。 2、two benefit加s 3、发音清晰,语调优美,注意个别词的发音
发表于:2016-08-19 [查看题目与录音]
语音点评
发表于:2016-08-18 [查看题目与录音]
单词发音清晰,非常好,语调再加强一些,读出轻重音,不要太平了。
发表于:2016-08-18 [查看题目与录音]
整篇行文通畅,特别喜欢批驳的部分,展开都挺充分。但是立论部分欠缺,甚至有点跑题。 第二段,喜欢,提到了旅行可以交到多元化的朋友,如果能再稍微展开点就更好了。 第三段,主要讲述了旅行的益处,但是没有很好的立足在交朋友上,有点偏题。 第四段,批驳得很好,完全是批驳了,几乎没提到旅行交友的好处。 语法很好哦,挑不出什么错误。
发表于:2016-08-16 [查看题目与录音]
虽然理由差不多,范文的开头和例子比你生动得多。Have you ever felt desperate for failing to figure out a way to solve the math problem to meet the deadline? Have you ever quitted finishing homework for attending a live music show? Have you ever felt depressed for no one can share the toughness for the trouble you have to deal in your science class? Then, you need group homework. Group work can totally increase the mobility. Laziness is our human's nature. Few would choose to dedicated to their boring homework rather than take a live music show. I still can remember my study partner in my junior high school, Shirley. She totally dragged me out of the laziness. I always wanted to hang out after school, maybe to listen to a concert, or to watch a movie. For sure, it always left me with blank homework pages. And I got an C minus during that semester. But fortunately, I got Shirley, who used to accompany me doing homework under the apple tree of my grandpa's before we went out to the central park to have fun. And that semester, I aced the finals eventually. And after that, I usually actively look for a partner to study with me no matter in senior high cool, or in my university, and I even got a TOEFL partner to practice oral English for this test. That totally benefit me a lot. When I does not have the courage to go on, my partner is always there to push me ahead. And by than means, i can always efficiently finsh my homework on time. And from its utility in better our nature, group assignment always lead to a more brilliant idea. I can illustrate the contention with my experience in my junior science class. We were assigned to design a basement to protect an egg from broken which is going to be thrown from the third floor. And I figured out maybe ?a little tiny parachute would help. But I forgot to consider that maybe the egg would fall out the parachute that I made. And fortunately my partner point it out, and devoted his design of the means to fasten the egg within the holder during the flight. And finally our egg did not break after three floors flight. We made it because our group thinking. We are not god who can consider every aspect perfectly. But everyone's different thinking can make the final results with as many aspects as they can. And it always works. So group assignments outcome more complex and brilliant ideas. So based on our illustration, we have reason to believe group homework is a significant step in our life. it can nature a efficient way by cooperation with others.
发表于:2016-08-15 [查看题目与录音]
语音点评
发表于:2016-08-14 [查看题目与录音]
语音点评
发表于:2016-08-13 [查看题目与录音]
语音点评
steinmiao 认为这是一个有帮助的点评
发表于:2016-08-12 [查看题目与录音]
理由挺充分,话题展开也有细节。几个小问题:1)in small group说成了with,2)enjoy ourself totally这句,totally最好放enjoy前面,改成ourselves,3)shopping后面的词听不清楚
发表于:2016-08-10 [查看题目与录音]
1)TV的V牙要碰着嘴唇发音,不要发成w 2)suitable的s发的像sh,整个词像shoudble 3)for中的f牙也需要碰着嘴唇,你发的像or,没有发出f这个音 4)them的th舌头要伸出来,有点吞音。 5)parents这个词的语调有点怪,可以对照模版听一下
发表于:2016-08-10 [查看题目与录音]
又看了几遍,忽然发现你用的是大交锋。我的看法,大交锋适合语言掌控能力强和逻辑思维缜密的人用,大交锋用好了很出彩,用不好会让人觉得不知所云。小交锋好驾驭一些。供参考。
发表于:2016-08-10 [查看题目与录音]
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